I have to be at work around 7:45 every morning. We live an entire 400-500 yards from it, and everybody comes with me since it’s a daycare.
I wake up around 6:15-30 most days, and it takes me 12 minutes to get ready. 18 if I didn’t shower the night before. I lay kid clothes out the night before, embrace breakfasts from boxes, and don’t have to pack lunches for anyone.
But almost every single day, we come sliding in to the parking lot with 0 minutes to spare.
I’ll tell you why: My children have an unspoken agreement between them to see who can do the best job at throwing us off schedule. Like, winner takes all kind of thing, I guess.
Hank is currently in the lead because he adds tears to his plans of derailing. The kid CANNOT get dressed in under 85 minutes. He’s not watching TV or eating, he’s just not sure if today is a good day for movement. He hates whatever is put out for him. Jeans that don’t cover his boots right, socks that aren’t thick enough, and God forbid it be a long sleeve day. They all send him in to fits of hysteria where he tells me about all the friends who wear shorts or “Don’t even have to brush their teeth, MOTHER!”
I’ve given up on the long sleeves at least. Be cold, I don’t care. I only bought him 3 this season , and I’ll give you 2 guesses at how many times he’s worn them… … Exactly 3.
MH flits around the house like she’s the blue fairy. She looks for things that aren’t missing, has her breakfast but changes her mind about what she wants when someone else comes to the table, and always has to poop when everyone’s just been buckled in the car. Doesn’t matter if she went when she woke up, or all 3 times I told her to go, or before we walked out the door.
And sweet Amos. He’s the best sleeper of the bunch, but if I’m not within eyesight when he gets up, just call a redo on the entire morning. He only ever wants to wear his socks and shoes. He’s an absolute angel waiting for those to be put on, but if it’s clothes you’re trying to get him in, forget it. He only wants muffins or nutragrain bars to eat, would prefer to carry around a wipe like an old lady in case he sees something that needs cleaning, and if he’s got juice he wants milk. If it was milk, go ahead & pour it out for some juice.
I can’t even.
I know I’m not the only mama who has these problems. But Oh My Life! does it ever wear me down!
I’m also totally telling on Pat because he’s not a morning person. I don’t really get it, but we’ve been together long enough that I’ve accepted it. Kinda.
So he’s pretty much negative help in the mornings. Like, sometimes he even adds to the chaos with his own quirky ways of doing things. He’s amazing at taking out the trash, & making sure we have light bulbs, & loading the dishwasher, but I’ve let the dreams of cohesive morning parenting come to an end.
I’m not bitter.
He did bathe everybody last night AND put up the dishes. Most of that has to do with what I think is my first experience with pregnancy sciatica & the fact that I was immobile on the loveseat during supper. Either way, I’ll keep him. But I want out of the morning struggle!