My pack NEVER lets me down with good answers for just about anything you could think to ask them. I thought it would be a good idea to see how they felt about a new baby, since we’re THIS CLOSE to having one again.
None of these answers are made up.
People sometimes find it hard to believe that they say what they do until they meet my kids and learn firsthand that there is no way I could make it up.
I started with Hank:
- What’s in my tummy? a Porter baby. But why did re change his name? I think we can still name him Tobago Johnandmichael. I will love him with any name, but I’m still gonna call him Tobago at night times.
- Are you going to help us when the baby gets here? Yeah. I can hold him sometimes and feed him if you put milk in a bottle for us to give him.
- Do you know how babies are born? Just from moms tummies, and then something happens like you get a real bad tummy ache. Then you have to go to the hospital and you say you get to eat a steak and some cheesecake, and they give you those big white water bottle things you let us play with in the bathtub.
- Do you like having brothers and a sister? Sometimes. I can take care of them or I can push Marnana off the trampoline when she screams because you know she ALWAYS gets in trouble for screaming.
- What will we feed Porter? He will probably like some milk, and re can try him on some juice. Then maybe a little bit sometimes re can give him spaghetti since we eat that a lots of times.
- Who are you going to stay with while we’re at the hospital? Probably Pawpaw and Nana. I would say re can play on the riding toys for a while, and help in the garden. But I already know the rules about bedtime and how to act, so I won’t let Marnana trick Nana with her lies.
- What do you want Porter to look like? Like a baby, silly! A boy kind of baby, like me.
- Do you want any more brothers or sisters? 5 would be too much to handle for me, so he will be enough with all the other ones re have in our house.
- Where is Porter going to sleep? He should sleep in the pack-n-play like me, and Marnana, and Amos used to do when re were little babies. But if Amos won’t get out of it you can leave him in his new swing. I think it would be lots of fun to sleep in a swing just your size.
- What do you like the most about having a new baby? That I can get to take care of him, and that I can sit in the very back seat of your car now since re had to make room for ALL those carseats.
Then it was Margaret Hannah’s turn:
- Do you want any more brothers or sisters? Nope. I want just one sister and one brother, or maybe re should just get more chickens.
- Who should Porter look like when he’s born? Prolly look like me because Amos looks like Hank, and in a few weeks Porter will just turn colors like me.
- Where do daddy and I have to go to get Porter? To the hospital, but I don’t know if it’s got a real name ‘cept hospital.
- What do you think he would like to eat? Prolly milks, and those pouch things Amos spits out when re try to give them to him at supper.
- How are you going to act when you come visit him at the hospital? If we’re gonna touch him you’re gonna make us have to have hanitizer like you made us do for baby Abram. But I only want that kind that smells like cupcakes you don’t ever let us use that’s in your backpack.
- Will you bring daddy and me some food while we’re at the hospital? Nana can pick up some chicken fingers on our way to see you.
- How are you going to help us take care of him? Prolly me, Hank, Amos can stay at the hospital to watch if you do a good job with Porter while Nana is getting us some chicken fingers
- What do you know about little, tiny babies? I seen a picture of a little tiny, baby on your old phone when it was coming out of hits mama in the bathtub. But you said you don’t have babies in the bathtub, so maybe it will be like, just a little tiny baby, you know?
- If you needed to change his diaper, would you? Only when I’m old. But Hank is old, so he can do it more than me.
- While we’re gone, where will you be? You already know that. You packed our bags last night and told me I had to remember to not swallow the kind of toothpaste re use at Nana’s house.
And I couldn’t leave Amos out. His attention span could only handle 5:
- Where’s Porter? Poked my belly and said “Quar-er here now.”
- What is Porter? Baby Boy Quar-er
- Can you help with Porter? Yeah. Diapers and toys and move this.
- What’s Porter going to eat? Choc-a-milk, moatmeal, chips
- Can he sleep in the pack-n-play? Yeah. Wit me no banks.
I’ve got my own list of 10 questions that have more to do with things pregnant women are tired of hearing, but I’d hate to hurt your feelings.
Just know that No, I haven’t had that baby yet, Yes, I am aware of how getting pregnant works, Yes, they’re all mine, and No, I don’t get to stop paying taxes because there are this many of them.
What are the crazy things people asked you when you were in the homestretch of your pregnancies? I know you’ve heard some good ones, too.
Also, HOORAY for T-ball being over Friday night. I can’t handle having to wash that ball uniform THAT MANY TIMES in one week any longer.