A cooking one.
One where the kids MUST be, if not under my feet, then at least in the kitchen with me yelling at each other.
One where I have my Spotify cooking play list as loud as it will go, 327 things scattered across the counter, a sink full of dishes because I
refused forgot to unload the dishwasher, and my tablet propped up on some Tupperware with the Pinterest recipe I’m taking on.
That is real life. Not the 90 second Tasty videos I can’t seem to quit. Like, I watch them mainly while I’m feeding Porter, tell myself I can SO do whatever I watched, make a mental note to grab what I would need to make whatever I saw, and drift back to sleep at 4 AM. If Facebook told users who was creeping on their profiles, I would get busted strictly for trying to find who reposted the dessert I thought I couldn’t live without at the buttcrack of dawn today.
Sometimes when I’m not watching those videos that early in the morning, I’m writing the script to my pilot episode in my head. I’d make Stroganoff because it’s so easy, served with a side of canned green beans, and animal crackers with peanut butter. Mainly because the Stroganoff will be eaten by 4 of us, the green beans by 2 of us, and the animal crackers because I’m sure Amos wouldn’t have had his daily dose of protein for that episode.
The kids would be in and out of the kitchen asking what we were having for dinner, wanting to know if they can go outside to play in the water hose, and then eventually being sent to timeout for launching each other off the back of the couch.
I think it could work.
In the meantime, I’m working hard to feed my family real food. Things that didn’t come from the freezer or a drive through. And it’s SOOOOOOOOOO hard. Pat is still working late, so he’s rarely home before 10ish. That gives me zero motivation to make actual supper. But I’m trying. I got all inspired after falling into a Cooking Panda and BuzzFeed Food rabbit hole over the weekend, and vowed to make real food happen at least 4 times this week.
Uh… that meant I had to go to the grocery store…
Saturday was a good day to get this done. My sweet friend, Tabitha, had a her baby shower, and with the big boys at nana’s, Pat fishing with college buddies, and Porter napping SO good, I knew we could get it done. PS How cute is Tabitha? Pregnant with TWINS and owning that belly! It’s no secret how much I love a baby belly. I even ASKED before I touched hers, because THAT’S WHAT YOU DO TO PREGNANT WOMEN!!!
Also, ignore the stink eye coming from the threenager. And the pictures turned out great Jen and Mrs Linda!
Margaret Hannah and I went to Walmart Saturday after the shower with a plan and detailed list. I like a good list.
Whatever…I like making good lists. Following them is hard. So is not leaving them in the car. Which is what I did on this day. But didn’t matter! I knew the essentials. We were severely distracted by a blowout from Porter, a single person hogging the family bathroom (throat punchable offense, ok?), and Margaret Hannah’s inability to forget that I’d bribed her to go to the shower with me for a milkshake.
All of that equals me forgetting most everything but vanilla yougurt and diapers for Amos. So after I dropped the big kids off at the daycare this morning, my mom was up for some QT with Porter, and I set off for another grocery store trip. This time with a list.
I came out with half a buggy full of things and spent $178.00 Lawdhavemercy! Once I started unloading everything, I noticed $80 of it was muffins, Little Debbie things, and nutrigrain bars. Not a good start on my vow to feed the pack real food…
I would also include that kind of junk in my cooking show. I cannot be the only person who double checks the receipt to be sure I wasn’t charged quadruple for something. How else can you explain 13 things costing more than a hundred dollars???
The plus side was that I did buy a pack of chicken and Sister Shubert bigs in a blanket, so 2 meals will be legit. Better than nothing, right?
ANNYYYYWAY, I did get what I needed to make Avalanche Bars, and Blueberry Cheesecake Cookies. Essentials, again. The cookies have been made 3 times now. I doubt I’ll ever make another kind again. These are that good. And so easy.
You can check out both of those recipes, but literally, the Avalanche Bars are melt some white chocolate chips and peanut butter, throw in some rice crispy cereal, add mini marshmallows and chocolate chips, top with more chocolate chips, chill, eat. I’m aware how lacking my food photography game is, but it doesn’t matter when you’ve got a good dessert to go with that pack of chicken I mentioned earlier.
The cookies are a stick of butter, a half pack of cream cheese, 2 eggs,3/4 of a bag of white chocolate chips, and 2 boxes of Jiffy blueberry muffin mix. Bake and eat. The finished product from this event is the empty Ziploc container because duh. They last about a day and a half. And since “muffin” is in the name, they can totally be eaten for breakfast, and you don’t even have to feel bad about it. That’s a rule. If it has a breakfast term IN the name of the item, it can be eaten for breakfast.
And since it’s turned into the time of day people usually start cooking supper, I guess that means I should make good on real food for these people running through my house with minimal clothes and Nerf Guns. That’s the responsible thing to do no matter how bad I want to just pop in that stuffed crust DiGiorno pizza I bought as a back up and call it a day.
If my show gets picked up, it’ll begin with this real conversation from a few nights ago:
Hank: I found out how you make broccamole. It comes from green grapes.
Me: No, buddy, you make it from avocados. And what did you call it?
MH: It’s called BROCC-huh-mole, mom. We know for real the truth.
Perfect segue into the Ferrell version of Taco Tuesday, right???
Also, I LOVED reading your thankful lists! They all brought a smile to my face, and even some encouragement I didn’t realize I needed! I’m adding you all to my list!!!